It took me a long time to write this. It’s hard to write about big things (big things that are little), difficult to put feelings into words and convey them the way you want. Especially when those feelings are deeply personal. But I have talked with several people who were able to learn through my own experiences, and who were grateful that I shared my perspective on such an intimate issue...
Because my closest female relatives (mother and aunts) experienced infertility and extremely difficult pregnancies (my mom almost died due to pregnancy complications when I was 8), I was anxious from a very young age about what it would be like for me to have children. I ended up being very sick during my pregnancies, but not as sick as my mother, and I have not experienced infertility or infant...
What is hard about my experience with miscarriages and infertility is they feel like they sit in this ‘in-between’ zone. They feel ambiguous, and so it’s been hard sometimes to mourn them properly or express the feelings I need to express about them. I’ve had three miscarriages. They all happened between 6 and 10 weeks, the ‘normal’ time frame for a miscarriage. It really isn’t that long to be...
[This story is told through a series of journal and blog posts] 1/16/2012 I am unsure of how I need to start this post: somehow, I feel I need to write it. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. If not for you, then for myself. For my posterity. For anyone who may need to hear it. Because I guess it deals less with fertility and more with matters of life and faith. In posts past, you may...
After my husband & I had been married for 3 years and moved across the country, we decided it was time to have a baby. We tried for a year, with no success. At that point, my OB gave me a few different options to pursue that might increase our chance of pregnancy. I sat in my car after the appointment as my thoughts wandered to some of my dearest friends who were caught up...
I had been married for five months when my husband and I decided we would like to try to have children. We were not in the most lucrative of circumstances. It was 2009, and the economy had just crashed. My husband and I had both just graduated before we married, and chose to move in with my parents while my husband searched for a job and finished up his honors thesis and an online course. Since...
I want to tell you a story. A really long story. Not because I think you need to hear it, so much as I just need to tell it. I hate being alone. I have never in my whole life wanted to be alone. Until now. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through, and I am not handling it very well. I have to start at the very beginning. This story basically took all year. At the beginning of...
It seems unfair to write when so many have suffered so much. But I will share. I was blessed with 6 beautiful babies. 4 girls and 2 boys. Our babies were all born within 15 to 18 months of each other. A day after I brought my 5th baby home from the hospital I started getting pain on my right side. I went to the ER and they took me to surgery for a suspected appendectomy but I didn’t get better...
After we had William (our third) I had 2 miscarriages back to back. The first miscarriage, the day we found out, I knew, I had a feeling that something wasn’t quite right… and in asked my husband Luke if we could wait to tell anyone (not normal for us…. we were the type to shout it out from the roof tops). We lost the baby a few weeks later at 7 weeks. About 10 months later we...
So we were pregnant, and we were due June 25, 2014. Nathan and I were excited to add to our little family! It has been an interesting journey. Hannah was actually pretty excited too (though she didn’t fully understand). We also had many family members thrilled with our news. There have been many prayers said in our behalf to have another child and those prayers were...
I had 5 miscarriages before we finally got Kanan, my oldest son. All 5 of them were discovered via ultrasound and 4 of them were D&Cs. To add insult to injury, the first D&C was scheduled at a hospital that was out of network and we got billed thousands of dollars for it. Two of the babies were sent for genetic testing to rule that out for a possible cause. Those two were genetically...
April 27th 2012 was one of the hardest days I’ve ever had, as a woman, as a mother, as a human, and as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. On April 27th, 2012 I lost my second child- I was around 10 weeks pregnant, yes I know that so many people have had miscarriages and that it is a “normal” thing. However for me, it was devastating. I questioned so...
My story starts at the tender age of 18. I was a newlywed in college working a full time job. 8 months earlier I had been in an accident and suffered a brain injury that caused many side effects, including fainting spells and short term memory amnesia. I was still recovering from those issues when I met and fell in love with my husband. It was a whirlwind romance. We met and got married in 5...
It’s been almost one year since my miscarriage, and to this day I haven’t shared the story with anyone. – in fact next Saturday will be one year from the day that I began experiencing intense cramping, the first physical sign I had that something was wrong. I was 8 weeks pregnant, and I was going to the doctor in 2 weeks to hear the heart for the first time. The whole experience of...
I had a miscarriage after my oldest child Brisa. It was Good Friday and I was six weeks pregnant. I had only told my husband that we were pregnant so after I miscarried I felt like I couldn’t get emotional support from family or friends because no one even knew I was pregnant yet. I had to go to work Monday even though I was bleeding heavily and cramping. A couple days later was April fools day...
I have 4 living children, but have lost 3. The first one I was only 4 weeks and have tried to convince myself that maybe I wasn’t really pregnant. The second miscarriage was horrific and completely life changing for me. I was 6 weeks (closer to 7) along when it happened. I was sitting at the table eating breakfast with my kids, it was roughly 7:45am. I had been having some stomach cramping when I...