Hi everyone! I’m Devin. I am one of the unique ones that have dealt with infertility my whole life. As an infant, I was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome. Long story short, I don’t produce eggs for reproduction. Honestly, growing up knowing this and up until I got married… I was pretty okay. It didn’t really affect me yet. I’m guessing because I was not sexually active, ready to be a mom any way.
It was after I was married I really came to face it. It was when my sisters and friends were starting their families… and I couldn’t. I felt a different ache and emptiness. Honestly, I felt alone too! At that point, I didn’t know any others who were facing infertility struggles. I just tried hard to be patient, I tried to hold on to my faith, and just prayed. Gratefully, and thankfully, since we knew our infertility struggles going into our marriage, I felt like I just had to be patient until our 2 year wedding anniversary. That was when we could start working with LDS family services, who helped facilitate adoptions back then. But yeah, I was wrong. When we finally started working with LDS FS, we decided to give foster care a try (for the life of me can’t remember why we picked it!) and I also became eligible to apply for nursing school.
Well, as fate would have it, we got approved through LDS FS, licensed through foster care, AND I was accepted into nursing school… like all within the same month. After talking and praying, we decided the right path would be for us to put our foster license on hold. I would go through nursing school and if we were picked to adopt through LDS FS, we’d cross that bridge when/if it happened. I was pretty consumed with nursing school, but still depressed. Nursing school was hard, I just wanted to be a stay at home mom, and life just wasn’t how I had imagined it would be. Well, what should have been my last semester, I ended up “failing” (in quotes because… to me, 79.9% isn’t failing :oP ) a class. So we decided to go ahead and open our foster care file and see what happens while we figure out, fight my education journey.
About a month after opening, we got our first foster care placement! I WAS A MOM!! Well, for about 2 months at least. That was when we sent “Little Man” home to his biological mom. I was devastated. I had finally had a taste of motherhood and I lost it! The state, however, did not let me grieve too long. We had a few short term foster situations during this time… but 7 short weeks later, I was a full time mom again! I was so cautious. The state had told us it was a high probability of adoption, but I so needed to protect my heart again. Honestly, that only lasted until I got to meet this sweet baby.
The moment I laid eyes on him, I KNEW he was my son. I didn’t know how it’d work out, but this baby was my son. When Ayden was 4 months old, his biological parents told us that they wanted us to adopt! We were on cloud 9!! I did not come off it for a long time. My dream of being a mom was finally coming to reality. Ayden’s infancy was hard but I was just proud to be a mom. Due to Ayden’s adoption, the state and LDS FS put our license/ file on hold for 6 months. Well, before that 6 months was up, I was able to work things out and started retaking that last class for nursing school! So obviously, we just put our noses to the grindstone and focused on our son and getting me graduated!!
A week… I repeat… a week after I finished/passed that class/graduated nursing school … the state called with a placement! A medically fragile girl! Ayden and this precious princess are 11 months apart! And let me tell you… it was a hard decision to take her. But after a lot of prayer and talking, Heavenly Father confirmed she needed to come to us… even if it’s for a short time. Well, after Breeann had been with us about 3 months, her biological parents told us that they felt like they could not take care of all her medical needs and asked us to adopt! We were so overjoyed! Bree was now a part of our family too! We had 2 amazingly strong kids… FOREVER! They were ours!
I will admit, during their infancy, toddler years… I was in total survival mode. But looking back, Heavenly Father knew us (all 4 of us individually), knew our desires, and knew our needs. He knew we had to wait for Ayden’s turn on earth. He knew I’d need to finish nursing school before I could take care of Breeann’s medical needs, He knew what all 4 of our needs were, the big picture for our family. After Bree’s case, we ended up taking about a 3 yr break before we started taking foster care placements again. Oh! And by this point LDS FS was no longer helping with adoptions. Foster to adopt was officially how our family would grow!
Anyway, we had 3 long term placements over the next 4 years. Each placement lasted about 9 months. We were now at the point where we were really debating about keeping our foster care license. Every time I thought about only having 2 kids though, I did not feel right. I did not feel complete. Someone was missing! So we decided to renew one more time to see what played out. Enter a call from the state saying they had 3 different cases, asked if we’d take one. After taking 12 hrs or so to talk as a family, as a couple, and to pray… We decided to take on a micro-preemie little guy. Our first court hearing was the next day and at that hearing, his legal parents relinquished their rights! Meaning, we were adopting again! It was a whirlwind of a week, but I remember the calmness, peace, and comfort I got during the court hearing, talking with his bio mom for the first time, and especially at the first time I got to meet my second son! Our family is now complete.
Infertility is one of the most painful trials I have had in my life. In hindsight though, I can see the Lord’s hand in it all. My faith in Him, especially in His timing, has grown to be knowledge. I have come to meet some of the most incredible people through this journey. The other foster families and the birth families I have worked with have truly been such examples to me. Not to mention the friends that I have made, come close with as we have shared our infertility struggles. Heavenly Father really does put people in our life pathway for a reason. I know He’s there, He listens, He cares… but He sees the big picture. If we have faith in Him and His timing, we will be blessed beyond belief.